The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
