She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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