If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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