Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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