Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
