Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry PensivePanda hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

Fav 2 1386 785
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill

Fav 3 914 2431
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

Fav 38 995 2731
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.

Fav 12 6068 888
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

Fav 23 1432 4578
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

Fav 12 8710 1510
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?

Fav 40 1994 6097
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban

Fav 1 112 30
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE

Fav 0 29 60
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT