when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
