Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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