by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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