so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
