I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
