Me. At least after what I've been through.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
