plz talk dirty to me
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize