She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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