nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
