Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
