i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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