You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
