Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
