just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize