You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think i have two assholes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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