your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
