He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
