For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
