Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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