I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We smell like vodka and hangover
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