Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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