dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
