what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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