mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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