i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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