Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
