I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
