then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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