Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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