she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
