Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
