apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
