I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
