LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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