his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
