My friends, they love my intelligence
Do you still have your period?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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