I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
