My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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