i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
