There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
