Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
