Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
