Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Actions speak louder than pants.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
