Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
