the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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