doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
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