either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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