Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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