Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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