why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
