so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You pole danced in your parka.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
