After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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