There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
