Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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