that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also, beer. Big fan.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
