she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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