we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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