Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I could fuck to npr.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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